Sitting next to a couple on this flight i kinda feel like im third-wheeling the universe at this point.

are you the area under my bed? cause oo girl you are a biological hazard.

is it mandatory for every white person to know the lyrics to an eminem song???

sorry i just ate tofu that i thought was chicken so all of ur problems seem trivial to me.

“im all about the third wave mannn” - a surfer feminist

it looks like im pointing to my tweet omg im a genius.

I am the baddest bitch in this dennys.

The american justice system is so flawed. I saw someone snapchatting in public today and they didnt get arrested or anything.

sometimes people think its weird when i go to a birthday party and grind the cake down to a powder and then snort it.

its that time of night where i decide if i should turn in an essay or just a bunch of photocopies of my butt.

im taking a class on urban gangs. we had a guest speaker today who had a face tattoo that said "bitch please." college is awesome.

do you guys think republicans are just doing an elaborate performance art thing???

every halloween i go as christopher walken's character in annie hall. i dont wear a costume but i tell random people my suicidal thoughts.

Sometimes i send my mom tweets i almost sent with the caption "was drinking while pregnant worth it?" pic.twitter.com/sq4ewraa

This impression is gonna be my big break  http://vine.co/v/bnlAhnd6VlX 

i just say im "breaking the fourth wall" whenever im doing something disgusting.

Okay, but telling someone that listening to mumford and son doesnt make you unique doesnt make you unique either, ya know?

Punching people is a virtue.

if you correct me on my grammar i will correct you on your life choices / personality / general outlook on life.

the answer to slavery was just shoot everyone cool yo! thnx q ur a genius! #django