Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"It's Christmas Eve, not Christmas Steve." -confused homophobe
"Who am I to judge?" -Pope Rational the first
Instead of presents, give your kids "presence." Then explain how homonyms can be hilarious. Then leave forever.
I think maybe the key to eating healthy is not eating any food that has a TV commercial.
I love the troops. Because if they weren't the troops, I would be the troops. And I would be the worst troops. Happy Memorial Day.
Pizza doesn't need commercials. All they have to say is, "Remember pizza?"
If we ALL go back to bed, there's nothing they can do.
Governor Christie, we need you to eat the hurricane.
If "k" replaces "ok" forever I'm gonna fucking flip out.
Tweets are just thinking farts.
If you drink and drive, you're an asshole. RT
In 1776 some shit went down and tomorrow there's a BBQ at my parents' house.
On 100 city tour! (including Houston!) http://birbigs.com/tourdates