I need to find a guy who isn't fucking ridiculous.

Hey guys... who's up and wants to cuddle! And by cuddle I mean have sex. And by have sex I mean make me cookies. And have sex.

My "problems" are usually people.

I'm high. This is weird. I know I'm Asian but come on. My eyes open more than this.

People are so fucking sensitive.

So, new years was fun. I drunk texted a bunch of people. But that's only because I was wishing them a happy new year... some three times.

Hey cool thing now is that I can double time you guys on stars and shit.

Sick of getting chewed out for my rantings. So, suck on this! *flips everyone off*

I don't like the way that made me feel. Note to self: avoid more human interactions.

Hey let's mash more words together. Prugly. Pretty ugly.

Oh. You blocked me? That's fine. I probably would never have followed you anyway.

OMG. Not now you stupid bot. Can't you see I'm fucking upset.

@ohmayagod @promiseyoulaugh @rebelmudcat99 @samalmightysam @sassysashasays Please RT for a cause! #RIPAndyHendel #StopBullying

Shit. You guys are still here.

If anybody needs me, I'll be laying on my bed perfectly still because yesterday's workout was legs, and my personal trainer kicked my ass.

Jesus. 7 kids? Why didn't you stop at 2? 3 at most...

@samalmightysam // How is that a bad thing?

Fuck me I'm horny

I once met a guy who spelt the same word wrong three different ways.

If you bible verse me, I'll punch you in the face.

Fair's fair, after all.