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How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?
Only one: they're efficient and not very funny.
My favourite palindrome doesn't start so well: Retteb, si flahd noces eht tub, but the second half is better.
Helvetica shot the serif.
Procrastination, thy name is Missing iTunes Cover Art.
Saw the Godfather for the first time yesterday. Don't get the hype: It's such a complete rip off of every gangster film made since 1972.
Received SMS from brother: "HI BJORN HOW R U?"
I Replied: "Fuck off."
Five minutes later: "Well done. That was mum's first SMS just then."
Asked my friend: Do you think anyone heard me farting? He pulled out my earphones and said: No mate, but I'm sure they heard you shouting.
I had to remove the 'My Delicious' bookmarklet because I kept reading it out loud in the voice of Gollum and it freaked out the cats.
The cat who lost its leg made a faux-paw.
First day at new job. Wondering if I should shower, or will that set their expectations too high?
Me: I failed the Turing test.
Wife: What do you mean?
Me: Tell me more about what do you mean.
Circular definitions are bad because they're not good.
"Now let's not jump to conclusions, this could still be a fatality."
Keep hopin', Fox.
1. Predict the end of the world
2. Spend $100 million
This article is about the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle. For the painter, click here.
Joy ÷ #nerdybandname
I already peed in the water cooler, what else are you supposed to do traditionally on the last day at work? Ah yes, vomit in the fridge.
"That's not how you spell 'touché'."
"... Two shay."