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Am I a horrible person to be annoyed with all the crying over Whitney's death? How much attention does a soldier get when they die? 2 mins?
For six months I've been lucky to have the best guy in the world in my life.
#FBstatustweet #cheeseytweet #awwwww #puke
Has anyone sued Twitter for distracting them and causing a car accident yet?
If not, oh it WILL happen.
"Hey laser lips! Your momma was a snowblower!"
Smdh if you don't know this and grew up in the 80's.
You know when you look back at the past week and realize you drank every day except Friday?
HOW DID I MISS FRIDAY?!
#FF @sbellelauren @ihopewebothdie @rorynotroy @sgavinesq @aspersioncast @pleatedjeans @thebrandonscott
They consistently make me giggle.
#ff @sbellelauren @spergers @rorynotroy @aspersioncast for hilarity
To feel the love & awesomeness #ff @tinkerbell_ and @sharpeseyeview
My freezer...I'm not in college. I'm 29. This is sad, right?
Typo: change "sad" to "awesome" http://t.co/hCWCtHU6
Seattle next week and Vegas in May for my 30th birthday. It's going to be a fun couple of months!
Just watched a dude crowd surf holding his prosthetic leg in the air...
@passionpit
Good thing they gave Stevie Wonder a standing ovation...maybe someone will tell him later.
Nerdcakes! My first time making cupcakes.
@sharpeseyeview
#starwars #glutenfree #starwarsisbetterthanstartrek #gf http://t.co/pTkAt97Y
On the plus side I had a teenage make out session with my search partner in a gazebo & a car while looking. So I'd say it was a good night.
I can't work out at home because when I lay down for crunches or do push ups my dog's like, "Sweet, mom wants to snuggle with me!!!!!"
Why did Raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?
She kept sitting on Pinnochio's face shouting, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"
I <3 that joke
'I'm outdoorsy in that I like getting drunk on patios.'
