Popular Recent Faved By Given
Friends: 203
Followers: 185
Favs Given: 1,500
Favs Rec'd: 1,625
@blackcallalily's (cracked) most faved Tweets...
blackcallalily
Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Nothing is quite so annoying as to have someone go right on talking when you're interrupting.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
There is no *I* in TEAM. There are, however, 4 I's in "Platitude-Quoting Idiot"
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
3 kinds of people: Those who learn by reading. Those who learn by observation. And those who have to touch the fire to learn it's hot.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you??
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
It's going to be fun to watch and see how long the meek can keep the world after they inherit it.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
They say that money is not the key to happiness. If I had lots of money, I'd have the key made.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
I'm distressed that Twitter is trying to kill that whale by having those birds keep him out of the water for so long.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
I think that it's time for me to put the laughter in manslaughter.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Beware of the lollipop of mediocrity. One lick and you’ll suck forever.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
The only way I could tell you about this coworker of mine would be in a therapist's office with dolls.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking? Oh yeah! because those men already have boyfriends.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Darlin', please don't sing out loud. You sound like a cow being molested by chipmunks.
@blackcallalily
blackcallalily
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
@blackcallalily
15
nhmagpieJeanM617SaidSydTrick_or_tweetSpinchange_MrBigFistsbluedream420bumpcrudleo_g_ashritamartiniiamnotdiddytherealcherilynTymethiefiamyoushouldtooThe_Sock_Puppet
blackcallalily
I never finish what I sta
@blackcallalily
15
FauxPapasnackajaweaJeanM617Spinchange_designbuffMrBigFistsbluedream420bumpcrudleo_g_ashbigTlittleODDritamartiniiamnotdiddytherealcherilyngneiccoMiareeva
blackcallalily
I walked into work this morning and I realized this isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
@blackcallalily
15
TymethiefBeef_TonguesnackajaweaSpinchange_designbuffBreeder_Tmariebluedream420JeanM617bumpcrudleo_g_ashfarkettem1key_m00niamnotdiddytherealcherilynMiareeva
blackcallalily
I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. Take one now, babe.
@blackcallalily
15
audioperlizdexandivysnackajaweaJeanM617Breeder_TmarieMrBigFistsFinger_Buddybluedream420bumpcrudleo_g_ashiamnotdiddytherealcherilynTymethiefiamyoushouldtooMiareeva
blackcallalily
When you were young, did he ever say "Let's do it. I promise I'll only put it in for a minute!"? What were we? First generation microwaves?
@blackcallalily
14
jeffjohnson14grovervioletsnackajaweaknitterpleaseWadetoBlackbluedream420JeanM617bumpcrudleo_g_ashjohn_a_hughesiamnotdiddytherealcherilynTymethiefMiareeva
blackcallalily
As our circle of knowledge expands, so does the circumference of darkness surrounding it.
@blackcallalily
13
tollehausSpinchange_Trick_or_tweetdrewmongeMrBigFistsbluedream420JeanM617bumpcrudHalfBadIQiamnotdiddytherealcherilynTymethiefThe_Sock_Puppet
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar