@blankslate's (Alex) most faved Tweets...
Left a polite note on neighbours car asking him to stop blocking my driveway.
But couldn't find any paper, so just used my car key.
But couldn't find any paper, so just used my car key.
"People who live in glass houses" are one busted water-main away from "People who live in aquariums"
The Oscars is a disgusting display of shameless self-indulgent elitist ego stroking. Anyway, gotta go see how many stars I got on favstar.
Hey everyone. I've started this petition that is going to force Twitter to allow us to make posts that are 141 characters long. Who's with m
Flight home: started a game of "peek-a-boo" with 2yr old in front of me. After 30 minutes I grabbed him and said, IT'S ALWAYS GOING TO BE ME
Housekeeping left one of my pubic hairs neatly on the toilet seat folded into a swan. This hotel is FANCY!
Was just about to start my 2010 resolution to workout more when I remembered that I'm fat and don't like exercise.
Cameron is crazy pissed that his gazzilion-dollar movie about the evils of imperialism and capitalism didn't win him a tiny gold statue.
Doc wants to track my bowel movements for a while. Added him to my Twitter followers - that was easy.
I find these 'Your mom' jokes contrived and offensive. I think your dad agrees, but he's hard to understand with my dick in his mouth
This just in: Women mugged in Castro district of San Francisco. Two guys held her down and third one did her hair.
"I had no idea u were gay"
"Mom, remember when I hung a xmas ornament in my Castle Greyskull & turned it into a gay disco?"
"That was cute"
"Mom, remember when I hung a xmas ornament in my Castle Greyskull & turned it into a gay disco?"
"That was cute"
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