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@blondediva11's most faved Tweets...
blondediva11
My mom keeps telling me there are plenty of fish in the sea. She REALLY doesn't get me anymore. I. Don't. Want. A. Fish.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
I used to smoke after sex, but I've learned to slow down.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
God must have really wanted Saturn because he put a ring on it.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Insanity didn't run in my ex's family. It galloped.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
I'd love to be a lifeguard at the gene pool. I'd let a few of them drown.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
If you shave it, he will come.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
I always say, "Fuck me insideout, you fucking beast" with a British accent. That way he thinks I'm cultured and shit.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Does this avatar make me look like I've been dead since 1962?
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Wish Facebook would stop with the reunion invites. I already know what the football captain is up to. He mowed my lawn last week.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
My boyfriend is jealous of the Xmas tree because the ornaments are hung better than he is.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
I have big plans for tonight. They include popcorn for dinner and dying a little on the inside.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
God might work in mysterious ways, but it still doesn't explain the popularity of Crocs.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Ever had sex so good that when you tell friends about it, they need a cigarette?
@blondediva11
blondediva11
What we've got here is a failure to fornicate.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Depression isn't the kind of going down I was counting on.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
I like that laziness has instant gratification.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
When he said he wanted to take the relationship to a whole other level, I didn't realize that he just meant doing it upstairs.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
After I dated that upholsterer, he never recovered.
@blondediva11
blondediva11
Just got back from a market run. Should take my shoes off, but, man, they're way down there.
@blondediva11
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