Please RT! I need a ticket for Galway Circus Project at Black Box Tomorrow! It's Sold Out and I need to see my little girl performing!

@glinner @phillipjedwards @jonsnowc4 Report of heavy gunfire on Liberation Square http://english.aljazeera.net/watch_now/

@comedyfish That joke works on so many levels

"Hey! That coke has my name on it!" - John Belushi

@audreybeatle @kzone8 @wiselineprt Tool songs? How bout everything off Aenima!? #IJest

@blakingpoint The Lotto stars are there to stop it. Checks and balances.

Very surprised to see it wasn't John McCain's head in a jar addressing the Republican Convention. He's still alive then?

I'm all for remaking things with Zac Efron in them. I think he would have been good as the foundations of the Freedom Towers.

Please RT! Anyone with ticket for The Lost Circus (Galway Community Circus) tonight in Galway,please sell to me, must see daughter perform!

#fourwordsbeforesex Crouch, Touch, Pause...Engage!

Westlife splitting is NOT good news. It's like Ebola becoming airborne. Now we'll have 4 "solo artists" choking the airwaves. Fuck.

@audreybeatle @branderzy @myvogonpoetry The mind is a terrible thing to taste. #Zombieproverbs

@myvogonpoetry @audreybeatle "Died with his boots on, his legs having been located and identified the next day" #IHopeMyObituaryIncludes

"Grilling in the name of" #gleesterchef. @adamhillscomedy

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE READ THIS AND RT. This is the kind of horrible bastard that is ruining our country. http://tinyurl.com/66rk4pe

@batteredgnome If the disc for Chasing Amy turns up then put it into the empty box, then put it in the bin.

@sonicsculpture @carolgertrude My mum wanted to call me Luke and my dad said "WTF!?" and then "GTFO!" and finally "No."

@colmtobin I never see that guy starting a dog. He's always putting the finishing touches to a sand dog that wasn't there 20 minutes before

@comedyfox Dave Young probably has them now.

Can I point out that with those surnames both @j_hartigan & @stapes could qualify as Irish! #EPT9 Grand Final