RT @mattmight *Not* what you want to see on the fetal monitor when your wife begins to push. Thanks, Microsoft. http://t.co/6D64giv #fb

@gruber He's doing it the hard way. I fixed my laces by just reversing how I do the FIRST part of the knot, not the last part.

@marykvalle @chemobrainfog @xeni My wife's mastectomy was over $102K. Each chemo is $3K or so. Without insurance, we'd be bankrupt.

@barackobama No! We should reduce oil DEPENDENCE as radically fast as possible.

@radiojlh @rubenbolling Concur. Awesome.

@joelhousman @darth @fivethirtyeight 100% on Nov 6.

@ejacqui My kids (6 and 10) are very addicted to these and Nintendo DS. Have to keep taking them away and letting them see the real world.

@xeni @aileengraef During my wife's bout with cancer this year, our dog has become very protective, staying with her all day while she rests

RT @sethmacfarlane It'd blow everyone's mind if one day Charlie Sheen just pulled off a mask & it was Andy Kaufman. #fb

Yeah and what does your contractor pencil look like?  http://instagram.com/p/Y5xqXXmzge/ 

@glennf Less work, too. My dentist spends approx 3 minutes looking at my teeth and chatting after the tech has finished cleaning.

@rubenbolling And it's a really good one!

OMG Pixels!

@lordtaco RT @marydgaughan @jaesalinas @darth Seriously. About to change the clocks in my house to TST = TACO STANDARD TIME cc: @seamless

@lexfri Fuck cancer.

Duh! RT @nyratk1: RT if you think I should make t a c o s today

Eliminate the bi-annual time change caused by Daylight Savings Time  http://wh.gov/fh4k 

I don't think the Mayans had timezones.

@darth @nycsouthpaw I knew a guy that used to do this. Guess where they took a dump?

@darth @daringfireball Beautiful car.