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HOLY SHIT YES I FEEL LIKE A PLASTIC BAG ALL THE TIME!
I did not die, just haven't been tweeting a lot. Found this strange thing called "life" and have been trying to "live" it. Not recommended.
Cee Lo Green said it's not rape if you don't remember it. I wonder if he remembers when, remembers when he lost his mind?
And I haven’t set foot in a Best Buy since and he’s in jail and I can finally sleep at night. (4 of 4).
The law of gravity wants you to go down on me. https://twitter.com/govmikehuckabee/status/614454579044950016 …
Be brave. Be yourself. Never change. Never learn. Never take any criticism. Die alone. Go to heaven. Don't let God tell you shit.
FUCK THE HATERS! HATERS GOT NOTHING BUT VERY LEGITIMATE CRITICISMS OF YOUR WORK THAT CONFIRM YOUR WORST FEARS OF YOURSELF. FUCK EM!
I HOPE ALL THE SNOW MELTS IMMEDIATELY SO THAT EVERYONE HAS SCHOOL TOMORROW AND I HOPE YOU ALL GET POP QUIZZES BECAUSE LEARNING IS GREAT.
Well that really fucking sucks.
"Taylor Swift stays out too late!" - some people, apparently
Christ has risen. Christ has risen indeed. Christ is still rising. Christ STOLE fizzy lifting drinks! You LOSE. Good DAY, Christ.
I always thought becoming a comedian would fix all my problems and have me swimming in pussy and I was right! Hooray!
I'm thankful for my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii (1 of 2)
the uppER case lettErs in this enCoded tweeT sPell somEthiNg IntereSting INYOURMOMSMOUTH.
ck. (2 of 2)
I make this easy look shit. I am going on tour this fall: http://www.boburnham.com/tour. And I have a D you can suuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
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