Sex education must be really awkward for homeschooled kids.

Never leave the one you love for the one you like. Unless the one you like has a bigger dick.

Don't talk to me if you're wearing Jesus sandals.

I'm too young to be this bitter. I'm too old to be this immature.

Girls, you don't have to take half naked pictures to get guys to like you. You have to take FULLY naked pictures.

"The Boy In The Plaid Pajamas", a story about me going to the grocery store.

You know how I know you're gay? Because you drink beer from a straw.

I wish my parents had gotten that divorce so I could get more financial aid for college.

I'm just a single guy looking for a girl with daddy issues.

If you're finding it difficult to be a good person it's probably because you aren't one.

You guys, WE NEED TO COTHEFUCKEXIST OK!

I managed my stress by not doing my stress management homework.

PLOT TWIST: I kill all of you before hurricane Sandy does.

Money is so expensive.

@mercerswish no. it's actually in the body. Our nerves cause us to feel pain.

Life is allot better when you have someone to hate it with.

Wearing a turtleneck to a date is sexual suicide.

I don't know the difference between being bored and being hungry.

It takes a lot of brains to calculate the minimum amount of work you have to do to pass all of your classes.

My life is probably so lackluster because I lack luster.