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@bonisteel
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@bonisteel's (Steven Bonisteel) recently faved Tweets...
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Can't believe I finally finished writing the Great American Novel and THEN remembered I was Canadian.
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bonisteel
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@dentednj
True, but it was during the penicillin shortage of '59 that they started calling him "Old Yeller."
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bonisteel
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RIP Fess Parker. Of course, for Parker, "natural causes" included: musket ball, arrow, runaway horse, mountain lion attack and Buddy Ebsen.
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bonisteel
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I will now reveal the secret to a long and happy marriage: 1 bed; 2 bathrooms.
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bonisteel
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If Americans fight this hard over health care, wait until they hear about Canada's Ministry of Key Grips and Best Boys.
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If Tiger can win a fifth Masters title, I bet he'll become a real chick-magnet.
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bonisteel
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I have Irish blood from my father's side of the family: a reminder that grandpa lost everything after inventing the Heirloom-Plasma Bag.
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@sucittaM
I put my underwear on one arm at a time. I've been weggie-proof since about '78.
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bonisteel
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@TheBosha
Detached bemusement would be a good change-up.
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bonisteel
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With these new profile pop-ups on Twitter, I just assumed Evan William's SXSW keynote was to be a demo on how NOT to use Ajax.
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bonisteel
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The U.S. is unveiling a rural broadband plan that will finally put the people of Walmart on Chatroulette.
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bonisteel
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It's just like Peter Graves to be all classy and die of truly natural causes at 83.
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@VegasVeneer
I'd go with "high roller," and then stick to that story.
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bonisteel
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@VegasVeneer
Does that make you high maintenance?
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@bortflancrest
I'm wary of any publication that converts recognizable weights to "stone," "pennyweight" or "Kirstie Alleys."
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bonisteel
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@desirousgoddess
@thejohnblog
Scientists say the the specific gravity of Nutella is high enough to pretty much kill this joke.
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bonisteel
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Just caught the orange pants Phil Mickelson is wearing at the CA Championship today. At least one pro golfer's wife can relax.
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Proven school-reform concept: Classes MUST contain 1 jock, 1 prom queen, 1 stoner and 1 nerd who learns his real love is Angry Goth Girl.
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Looked over Obama's changes to the "No Child Left Behind" law. Not sure I like the sound of those "Slacker Panels."
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Just when you think humankind is a lost cause, you browse the Urban Dictionary and are uplifted by the discovery that you are right.
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