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An erection is when Japanese people vote ?
The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your dad you're gay .
What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common ? They can smell it but they can't eat it !
If Jesus was a Jew , how come he has a Mexican first name ?
I believe in putting a women on a pedestal . High enough to look up her dress .
My cat is putting Skid Marks on the white carpet . I'm just happy I don't do that . . . yet .
A Fuck is a pleasant reminder that two bodies are better than one .
How many times am I not gonna have sex today ?
Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it .
Sometimes I don't know where I'm going . But that's the best place I've ever been .
I wouldn't mind planting one of these stars in your fucking asshole .
Who came on my Mayonnaise ?
I will become a bacteria and visit you in places perverts can only dream of . Now lets make out .
Why don't you fuckers stop tweeting and clean your nasty toilets .
Dreams do come true only if you fuck it hard enough .
Then We find out Twitter is owned by Burger King. I'm like: why am I holding this jar of pickles ?
Find something you're passionate about then fuck it .
There are two ways to handle a woman and nobody knows either of them .
What's the point of going out ? I'm just gonna end up back here anyways .
A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide . The librarian says : Fuck off ! You won't bring it back . .