An erection is when Japanese people vote ?

The hardest part about rollerblading is telling your dad you're gay .

What does a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common ? They can smell it but they can't eat it !

If Jesus was a Jew , how come he has a Mexican first name ?

I believe in putting a women on a pedestal . High enough to look up her dress .

My cat is putting Skid Marks on the white carpet . I'm just happy I don't do that . . . yet .

A Fuck is a pleasant reminder that two bodies are better than one .

How many times am I not gonna have sex today ?

Life is anything that dies when you stomp on it .

Sometimes I don't know where I'm going . But that's the best place I've ever been .

I wouldn't mind planting one of these stars in your fucking asshole .

Who came on my Mayonnaise ?

I will become a bacteria and visit you in places perverts can only dream of . Now lets make out .

Why don't you fuckers stop tweeting and clean your nasty toilets .

Dreams do come true only if you fuck it hard enough .

Then We find out Twitter is owned by Burger King. I'm like: why am I holding this jar of pickles ?

Find something you're passionate about then fuck it .

There are two ways to handle a woman and nobody knows either of them .

What's the point of going out ? I'm just gonna end up back here anyways .

A man goes into a library and asks for a book on suicide . The librarian says : Fuck off ! You won't bring it back . .