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  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    You want me to do the ice bucket challenge. How about you donate the $100 bucks to ALS. Now I'm obligated to pass it on. #IceBucketChallenge

    • 1
    • FAV
    wwwesty
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    I like to break the ice when the health inspector drops in by asking if the 5 second rule is a real thing.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    MouthyMessPyrBlissdamnitKamChuck_Phil_EhStephenBCramerslyoung5CroweJamnikhimself
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    As close as I get to sexting is playing dirty words in Words With Friends matches against women.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    damnitKamStephenBCramerslyoung5CroweJamFlyoverJoelrachiecandicesilent_musingsJohn_M15
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mianicoleeeeee__
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Even the most annoying person has a mute button. It’s located in the middle of their face. You just have to punch it hard enough.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerslyoung5CroweJammianicoleeeeee__FlyoverJoeltweetcomedian
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mianicoleeeeee__
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    “What’s up? <pause> Not your eyes apparently.” - Busty woman to me, just now.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    slyoung5CroweJamBarreraNickElfonzo_RhodesStephenBCramerFlyoverJoelGageBostonblondediva11
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    mianicoleeeeee__dandooys
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    -2 temp on the field. I'm surprised these guys don't cuddle for a bit after the tackle.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    CroweJamStephenBCramerllvvzzlinajk____________rita_mayohaterslyoung5DrunkSocialitejuicymorsel
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    If you think buying a Bugatti is a good way to piss away a million dollar, try buying a restaurant.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    Chuck_Phil_Ehmianicoleeeeee__StephenBCramerdnalepocaerdnaslyoung5FlyoverJoelXalqee_Adieu
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Thanks so much to the very funny @carmel_coleman for bestowing my 100th ToTD award.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Carmel_Coleman
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    I always listen to ass dialed voicemails to the end, just to see if they rip one.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerFlyoverJoelScottLinnenCheeseboy22cynicanoldicusslyoung5luckyrio21DrunkSocialite
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    “Don’t drink alcohol to excess when taking Cialis.”

    What a cruel joke when drinking her under the table is my only chance to get laid.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    StephenBCramerGageBostonAdequateAngel1slyoung5discokenWarrenHolsteinFlyoverJoel
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Tells you how much I am around here these days. Thank you so much @pspenny36 for that ToTD you gave me 109 days ago.

    • 1
    • FAV
    Pspenny36
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    5mg Cialis for daily use needs to come with 5 days of placebo each month like birth control pills, so you can sync up with your wife.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    WarrenHolsteinslyoung5llvvzzBDGarpVoiceofgarthFlyoverJoelKimpulsespizzajaynow
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    imthefunny1StrasiUnit
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    At some as they age, every women will consider being called a whore a compliment.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    slyoung5discokenStorminikaIRONNUMAAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    The Cowboys couldn't stop a faucet from running.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    FlyoverJoelMySouthernHelledresspantsCandyWarholeMikeFromJerseyIGotsSmarts
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Set up my holiday decorations yesterday. Lit a menorah in the window. We're not Jewish, but be damned if I'm stringing lights.

    • 15
    • FAVS
    PyrBlissChuck_Phil_EhWarrenHolsteinslyoung5SortaBadFlyoverJoelSuMacDanGageBoston
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    You can pick your friends.

    You can pick your nose.

    But, you can't pick your friends nose.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    slyoung5Elfonzo_RhodesDrunkSocialiteReeMURDAsilent_musingsRossRantsdick_mustacheTinkerbell_
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Elfonzo_Rhodes
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    I announced to the staff that we will begin drug testing.

    <wide eyes of panic>

    To find out who’s not sharing.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    Chuck_Phil_EhElfonzo_RhodesDrunkSocialite5_oclock_shadow__KimpulsesCheeseboy22JonJon_BrownFlyoverJoel
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Shitty Shitty Bang Bang would be a great title for a scat porn video.

    • 6
    • FAVS
    XalqeeJonJon_Brownslyoung55_oclock_shadow__mandydevilleFlyoverJoel
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    TRUEBROWNXXX
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Get elected to congress without even campaigning. Just change your name to Above None-Of-The.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    RossRantsslyoung5Cheeseboy22JonJon_BrownkellysdfJuan_Incognitoblondediva11thetobbie
  • boobill
      Bill @boobill

    Just pulled up beside some obese guy at a urinal. After see what it took for him to reach his dick I'm heading straight to the gym.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    Xalqeeslyoung5llvvzzFlyoverJoelGageBostonmarebytesblondediva11John_M15
@boobill

@boobill

Born nude and unable to provide for himself, Bill eventually overcame these handicaps enough to help two others with the same predicament.