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Another day down, another week to go!!
I have a bunch of penis puns I want to tell, but I won't shove 'em down your throat.
(my loneliness is paralyzing)
Everyone in this brunch place is facing the same way and there are no tables and no one's eating and oh my god I'm in church
If you had Jesus over for brunch would you serve virgin Marys? Because that seems kind of rude
that's the way we
do tornado drills
What part of "emotionally broken and socially inept" do you not understand?
Caught myself singing along with the Backstreet Boys. As penance, I flogged myself bloody with an amp cable pulled from a Marshall stack.
If you hit a golf ball and it goes deep into the woods, is that what balls deep means
*gets down on one knee*
Will you... Murder me?
RIP in peace Bono
u dont know how much someone is worth to u until u sell them
When your girl gets stolen by a taller guy but he's only taller because he has a really big head. Your shoulders are at the same level
I think I think too much
Enthusiasm enthusiast. https://twitter.com/search?f=realtime&q=boobsareimplied&src=typd
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