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has a hard time believing that if a group of wizards decided to form a professional sports team, it would be basketball.
: wait, the sun's back up already? it's every fucking day with this asshole.
just saw a mexican guy drinking an Arizona tea. awkward.
is winded from taking out the trash. nobody look at me.
Just had the kind of poop you make a playlist for
: if you had told me this healthcare reform would break up Sandra Bullock and Jesse James, you would have heard me sing a different tune
just thought about whales. this bath is ruined
: ah, if I were just ten years older, and she was willing to be in a relationship with a guy who can change his age
Just ate at Sonic for the last time.
: some days, all you can ask for is to come out with an even-numbered amount of socks.
has once again spent the night sewing his pants back together.
: when life gives you lemons... ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
: I wish my hat was here to see this
: Let's be clear. The fruit fly is not one of God's creatures.
: yo, Neil Armstrong, Imma let you finish, but Michael Jackson had one of the best moonwalks of ALL TIME
: Airman Garwood reports as ordered.
: this weather has gone from genital freezing, to genital pleasing
: first the BP oil wells, Kanye's album, and now Wiki. The theme for 2010 is clearly leakage.
sometimes leaves the tin foil on in the microwave... just to feel something...
I'm all about sandwiches and naps (husband to @birdypwns)