And I just fell in love with Siri. http://t.co/L62GqKNR

And Obama just reassured his election.

Mysterious missile launch off the coast of California explained.. http://i.imgur.com/wUmCy.jpg

$1000 for a Netbook? No thanks, Apple.

"Daddy, daddy, why is Justin Bieber so pale?" "Because, son, there's no sun in the closet."

Speeches should be like girl's skirts. Short enough to keep your interest, but long enough to cover everything.

"Wanna play rape?" "No" "That's the spirit.."

Retweet if you're awesome.

The bitch got away with it. America: Where you go to jail for smoking pot but go free for murdering your daughter.

Prepare to laugh your fucking ass off. http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lgb/ele/2306137099.html

Kim Jong Il couldn't handle the Dexter finale.

Westboro church will picket Steve Jobs' funeral. I hope whatever hell they believe in, they burn in it.

Before he was Drake.. http://30.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfd08cxmyC1qfw983o1_500.jpg

If you do this, I fucking hate you. http://i.imgur.com/8tXlV.jpg

I'm getting tired of trying to brag about Siri and it wont fucking work. I look like a bitch.

I wonder if I could get a cheap plane ticket to London. I heard the shopping is a steal right now.

The fact that there isn't a bakery called "Fo' Real Dough" makes me really disappointed in the urban entrepreneurial spirit.

No Americans were killed in the death of Bin Laden. He was killed in a firefight. FUCK YEAH

Q: How many Microsoft engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They just change the standard to darkness.