Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Here's why signing in is good for you.
One of these days I'm going to find Cap'n Crunch and take a cheese grater to the roof of his fucking mouth.
When Jesse James and Kat Von D have a kid its going to come out looking like a Ed Hardy t-shirt.
I cancelled my cable cause instead of watching TV I just drop acid and watch my cat. It costs less, and I don't even have a cat.
My girlfriend pulls my dick so hard when she gives me handjobs sometimes I think she expects a parachute to come out of my ass.
My wife and I are like Bert and Ernie, in the sense that we have sex with each other.
I'm really bad at drawing so when people pass out at parties I actually put my dick on their face to trace around.
When I come home from work and my wife is in the bedroom with a tie on the door, I'm pretty sure that means I'm allowed to play video games.
I like to send a picture of my dick to my ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend with a caption that says 'This has been inside of her'.
Stealing a tweet is like hopping on the toilet if someone forgets to flush and calling it your shit.
My mom keeps asking when I'm going to meet a nice girl and settle down. I'm married.
I just shit in a plastic bag and threw it at a moving vehicle. Why? Because not once in my life has anyone ever told me not to do that.
I'm pretty sure if I woke up and my house was on fire, the first thing I'd do is tweet about it.
Dear Facebook: Quit being like my mom and suggesting people for me to be friends with.
Let's be realistic - On Twitter, 'I love your tweets' really means 'You better fucking follow me back or I will unfollow you.'
I've been masturbating vigorously for 4 months straight and still no blindness. Call me, Myth Busters.
I told my son that school is very important, he said 'fuck school, I'm gonna be a ninja'. Carry on, boy, carry on.
I'm a sexycologist with a PhD in supreme awesomeness.
Stats can't be shown as @breeenin has never signed in to Favstar.
