This guy introduced himself as Truck. Thought it was weird- then was like duh! It's short for Trarles!

What are people up to like in terms of spirituality this weekend?

There is no such thing as your birthday week.

My yoga teacher DID say this today. DID SAY. "Let go of tension in your hips. Let go of your relationship with your dad. He is who he is."

"Don't (even) Think (about dating me)" - how a UCB hoodie reads to me

Let's keep emailing about DEFINITELY hanging soon!

Drink like nobody's dancing.

If you PDA in front of me one more time, I'm going to start listing my personal strengths.

My special skill is never knowing if it is a date.

ran into an ex. he was loading some of his artwork into a van. luckily, i saw that he's "reinventing" Mickey Mouse- so I felt no shame.

Masturbating to the thought of fixing you.

Imagine powering our cities with a naturally existing resource, like those Trader Joe's bags crammed between the refrigerator and the wall.

Have you guys seen the amazing documentary Mischa Barton: Always At Coachella?

Visited a friend. Friend was taping over any blinking lights in his apt bc they were polluting his thinking. I hope we r friends forever.

Kid I'm babysitting for asked after my ethnicity. Two guesses, said I. Her first was "Japanese?" Her second was "fancy?"

Went to the medical marijuana doctor. He asked me out. I gotta get to an open mic.

Got asked "do u work here" while I was twirling in the mirror @anthropologie! I can finally put a downpayment on my human sized bird cage!

Can't tell if I'm the Bruce Willis or the Haley Joel Osment of the dating world. Either they're all dead- or I am.

Gonna be in New York next week. Am available to be a waitress in your webseries about triumphs.

Is Kevin Sorbo mad he is almost Jon Hamm?