@brienis' (Briana) most faved Tweets...
I'm cheating on twitter with a really good book. It took me a while to read past the first 140 words but once I did...whoa.
Dear Forever 21,
Have you ever considered selling dresses that go past vagina length? I'm sure there's a HUGE market for those.
Have you ever considered selling dresses that go past vagina length? I'm sure there's a HUGE market for those.
Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the lord my tweets to keep, if I should die before I wake, make sure these fuckers star my tweets.
My new puppy is such a chick magnet that it's almost a shame I'm not a lesbian. I'd be getting so much pussy right now.
My day was fucking awesome. If I were a man, it would have felt like getting my dick sucked. ALL DAY.
Every once in a while I get to play the who-had-babies-straight-out-of-high-school game. It's fun because I get to judge people.
Ugh. Sometimes I wish that when my parents immigrated out of Portugal they'd've gone to Canada. I'd have healthcare AND I'd be nice.
The train is so full that I've been to second base with at least 5 people and to 3rd base with the guy behind me.
If you're going to have kids make sure you get the ones that don't turn into teenagers. Those are the WORST kind.
My arms are in SO much pain. I guess 3 hours of screwing does that to you. Screwing a _desk_, I mean. Building it. With screws. NEVERMIND.
Want-to-fuck twitter lists are the new you-must-be-tired-because-you've-been-running-through-my-mind-all-day pick up lines.
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