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Had a dream I got into a fist fight with Optimus Prime...
👨- "Ron Swanson."
I drunk drove. Well not really, I watched Drive while drunk. YOLO.
Judge Judy is so badass.
I'm now unbelievably soaked thanks to the rain.. I feel like I peed my pants.
Good morning texts are my favorite:)
Two can keep a secret if one of them is dead;) #PPL
Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone oughtta be.