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Fun trick: Find the worst pro-gun/anti-gov't rhetoric, picture it coming from 1990 Ice Cube, then imagine the original author's reaction.
Thanks to the gov't mission—run by, like, Vin Diesel or something—that secretly saved the world from the asteroid/volcano/alien last night.
Every Dec 26, Michael Bublé rents a floor of the Mirage, hires 13 hookers & snorts a mountain of coke scraped into the words FUCK X-MAS.
"Is that a Paul Simon lyric or a Bible verse?" is a thing I said today.
Current status: picturing a befuddled owner of a healthy egg restaurant called "Whites Only!" trying to figure out his zero-star Yelp rating
No, YOU listened to Thin Lizzy and Camper Van Beethoven all morning and got strangely emotional.
Just saw a business dude in a Volvo dump most of a Chipotle burrito in his lap. (hearing his sunroof-&-tortilla-muffled FUCK! was priceless)
Accidentally posted a broken link on the Post's FB. In the 30 mins it took to fix: 64 opinionated comments, 0 saying the link was broken
Denver After Dark is the kind of place where a trucker hat can fall in love with a faux-flapper without judgement. #truetruelove
What if the Romans had Twitter? They’d be like “CARPE DM,” right?
ha ha just having some historical fun here on www dot twitter dot com.
loved by thousands, hated by millions. a mile high and an inch deep.