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NBC Commentator: “That is not actually Batman but a British folk hero known as Del Boy. Sort of like Robin Hood…” #closingceremony
I just gave Aretha Franklin a quick ring. She's never heard of Tulisa. #xfactor
I'm glad Attenborough didn't direct Finding Nemo. "The fish has lost his father. It will inevitably die." #frozenplanet
“He’s dreadful.” > “He should resign.” > “He’s resigned.” > “He’s principled.” > “He was hounded out.” Oh Twitter, you run like clockwork.
Stop all this "will Cameron resign" blather. He wouldn't resign if he was found in a rent boy sandwich covered in cocaine.
Tomorrow's Sun headline: CONFUSED OLD MAN HARASSED BY EXPENSE CHEATS #hackgate
"Do you have children, sir?" "No but I'm Eddie Redmayne, I can impregnate women with just a smoldering look." #birdsong
That “Richard and Judy picture” is the Twitter equivalent of The Ring. We’re all going to die now.
Recreate your own UKIP conference by going to a pub at 3pm and asking the old, angry men to tell you what they think of immigration.
To replicate Heaton Park, I have paid over the odds for a hot dog and hired a tramp to sing the entirety of The Stone Roses off key.
Bezos’s letter to Washington Post staff is pretty incredible in 6 short paragraphs http://www.washingtonpost.com/national/jeff-bezos-on-post-purchase/2013/08/05/e5b293de-fe0d-11e2-9711-3708310f6f4d_print.html?hpid=z1 …
I appreciate the warnings about strobe lighting but could the BBC also let us know when Fearne Cotton is about to appear again?
This story is devastating. If you drive, you really should read it. If you cycle too http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/crime/10293094/It-took-satnav-18-seconds-to-tear-two-families-apart.html …
All I know is that none of this phone hacking malarkey would have happened if Hugh Grant was still Prime Minister #bbcqt #nogriponreality
Pippa Middleton is now a“Contributing Editor” at Vanity Fair. I’m appointing myself Head Unicorn at What’s The Bloody Point? magazine.
CEO at @thexxcorp Editor-at-large @kernelmag Editor-in-chief @thepeakhq TV columnist @theanorak also known as Jack the Biscuit