"Well, sex is like a velociraptor: despite your movie-fueled lifelong neurotic obsession, unlikely to be found in your house."

This is what happens when you bring @dominicmay to a lecture... http://t.co/GZtqDqfs

“YouTube, Twitter, and Facebook will merge into one super time wasting website called YouTwitface.”-Conan O'Brien haha.

@msceciliabird HAPPY TWITTER BIRTHDAY! xx

@msceciliabird Also, I cannot believe I forgot to mention how amazing your twitter bio is!

@msceciliabird I cannot begin to express my love for this tweet.

BOWLING <3

“@hipstermermaid: If Jean Dujardin wins the Oscar for best actor, I hope he mimes his acceptance speech.” @jk__ <3

<3 “@uncultured: Social Media explained in a nutshell - http://t.co/c6kVYgw7”

@dominicmay YES. #ily

"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it." - Upton Sinclair

"@microaggressive is like porn anyway. Meaningful porn!" - @jameswilson

My Gender Studies lecturer just called Germaine Greer "Australia’s most notorious feminist export." LMAO.

@jameswilson IT SOUNDED LIKE SHIT. EVEN EMILY SAID SO. AND EMILY'S THE SMARTEST & ON MY SIDE, SO SHE WINS.

trying to eat some Dairy Milk, but the block won't break because it's so cold & I'm a weakling. So sad.

"@jameswilson is too hipster to function." - @thegoddamnemily

So. Much. Adorable.

.@jameswilson is being a creeper and taking stalker photos of @thegoddamnemily. #ivestolenhertwitter #thisisemyournewmaster

It's nothing personal, but if you're currently in air conditioning, I hate you.

audience, I freaking love you for booing. freaking love you. #qanda