Whenever someone calls, I tell them, "Sorry, I can't talk right now. I have AT&T."

A new study says that women who marry younger men die up to 20% sooner. Scientists have now placed cougars on the endangered species list.

If it takes you 6 beers to think that Ke$ha makes good music, then you're a lightweight.

NBC is going to cut off the closing ceremonies to give you a sneak preview of its soon to be cancelled comedy, Animal Practice. Stay tuned!

Today, SC is in the news for the release of a man who had sex with a horse and for a road sign warning of zombies. Your move, Florida.

Continuing to drive around to find the parking spaces directly next to the gym explains why you need to be there.

Hurricane Irene might be coming to South Carolina. It'll be nice to have a female disaster here not named Nikki.

Money making idea for Milwaukee: Host a Star Wars convention and let the fans rename the city to mEWOKee for a week.

Jessica Simpson's new boyfriend is a Yale graduate. But then again, so is George W. Bush.

A 56-year-old Tennessee man won the AARP's national spelling bee by spelling "keratomileusis," and also the names of all his prescriptions.

Sometimes I think that the 'wit' in Twitter gets lost for the 'twit.'

Dry cleaning one of my shirts. By dry cleaning, I mean using my fingernails to scratch off a dried salsa stain.

A website is offering camouflage wedding gowns to brides-to-be. Because what better way to enter marriage than being armed.

The urge to go to a flea market is really bugging me.

Well, Sex and the City 2 premiered last night. It's good to see Sarah Jessica Parker back in the saddle again.

An asteroid could hit the Earth in 2182, but scientists say it’s a 1/1,000 chance. Just to be safe, let's send Ben Affleck into outer space.

Let's play matchmaker. Al Gore and Heidi Montag - the new Barbie and Ken! She's as plastic as Barbie and he's as stiff as Ken.

June is National "Pharmacists Declare War on Alcoholism" Month. Because what better way to declare war on alcoholism than with pills.

Given the success of Flo Rida, I'm ready to hear from some new rappers like Ida Ho and Con Necti Cut.

Work in the mining industry. It rocks! Ore maybe it doesn't.