Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
And keep stalking my page too...
What kind of parent has 2 teen kids and only invites 1 over for 4th of July dinner? Oh, wait...Nevermind. I know. Stay classy, my friend
Just woke up and took the biggest Cliff. Double flusher...
I'm the only one that gives a shit about changing things and not settling...frustrating
He's what it would be if a fart were in a human form
He's like the "I like to shit my pants" type of person.
Overheard in gym just now:
"I have so much ball sweat."
Thanks for the update, bro
Co-worker: this is really tight
Me: your MOM is really tight
(Drops mic and walks off stage)
10 mile overnight hike with my GF's son. All set up and enjoying hot dogs at campfire. His first time. Happy to spend time with him.
You can lead a horse to water but you can't make her sign up for a Sex and the City 3 movie.
10 mile hike done. First time on that trail.
Was pulled over by a cop this morning, so I get it black guys. I get it.
Being told to slow down and drive safe is hard.
Take a shower with your GF they say...it'll be fun they say...now my pee hole burns from her washing me
"Protein bars are for sissies."
- GF after finishing my blowjob this morning