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If you're happy and you know it, slap my ass.
Much like life and love themselves, seduction should be an ongoing process. Just because you have her now, doesn't mean you'll keep her.
Instead of complaining about being retweeted by someone with few followers, you might just be grateful they have good taste.
The great thing about books is that they all lead to some sort of secret passage.
And if you do find you need to kill your hooker, why the trunk? If you put her in the passenger seat you can use the carpool lane.
While I want to explore every inch of her body, there's still so much of her mind I've yet to touch.
Wanting. Needing. Longing. Aching. I can't wait for the day that I get to wake up to you instead of these things...
What are these "pants" of which you speak?
Invade my mind with your words. Haunt me until I can think of nothing else.
I need you for plenty. I want you for more.
When inspiration strikes, pull its hair and smack it hard on the ass.
Sometimes when one of the elite subtweets about shitty tweets I wonder if they're talking about me. Then I remember they don't follow me.
Note to self: Read ALL of the words.
I want you so badly right now that it frightens me, but in the best, most beautiful way possible. Thank you for that.
Sextspeare: Aye, though a donkey I resemble, would it still please thee to rut with me as if I were another type of beast altogether?
So many men lack commitment. Van Gogh should have cut off his penis to give to her instead of his ear lobe. No wonder he died alone.
Lingerie's nice, but honey, in my eyes, the sexiest outfit you'll ever wear is a little pair of cotton panties and one of my shirts.
There is no such thing as too much kissing. Only too little.
I want to hear you whisper how much you want me as I plant soft, wet kisses on your neck. Then I want you to show me.
I want to kiss you from head to toe and back again, starting at your mouth at sunrise and not again to touch those sweet lips 'til sunset.
It's hard to see the bright side when the sun's in your eyes. http://letterboxd.com/bulletproofqpid/films/diary/