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My favorite thing about Ed Wood was that a pseudonym of his was Akdov Telmig, which is Vodka Gimlet backwards.
"I like old country music", is the new, "I like all music, except country."
I'm going to start calling masturbating "private browsing"
somebody make me an avocado that looks like christopher walken with the caption "CHRISTOPHER GUAKEN"
Even the peace loving hippies who make the COEXIST bumper stickers don't believe in Scientology.
If this was a "legitimate hurricane", your houses would have found a way to shut it down so nothing bad happened. YOUR DWELLING WANTED IT.
Hey guys I just got a call from the Universe: we reached the limit for podcasts. No more new ones, sorry!
Wanna be on my podcast? #ThingsComicsSayToEachother
Wait so Dove makes chocolate and soap? Okay that makes perfect sense.
Channing Tatum looks like he is a Weimaraner whose owner wished him into being a real boy.
In the middle of playing with Taco I fell over with my eyes open and pretended to be dead. He looked at me, barked twice, then walked off.