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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    I’d like to point out to the med student from today that “He did earlier” is not an acceptable response to “Does the patient have a pulse?”.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Remember to triage your patients in order of sickness: LOL, OK, OMG, OMGWTF. #tipsfornewdocs

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    A nurse shouted at me for leaving oxygen running, "it doesn't grow on trees" she said. She then got an ironic lesson about photosynthesis.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    "If a surgeon cuts a vessel and knows the name of that vessel, it's serious; if the anaesthetist knows the name of it, it's disastrous."

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Best paramedic note ever: "Patient confused however competently demonstrates a vast repertoire of obscenities."

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    I had a rather concerning conversation today:

    Med student: I’ve never seen a dead person before.
    Me: This lady isn’t dead.
    Med student: Oh.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    I'm going to change the patient triage categories to the following, in order of urgency: LOLWTF, OK, OMG and OMFG.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    There is no medical emergency so dire that you can’t put on a pair of gloves quickly first. You forget this only once. #TipsForNewDocs

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  • bungeechump
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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Asking a med student to push a certain button on a ventilator and then immediately shouting “NOT THAT ONE HOLY SHIT!” never gets old.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    You went into medicine to help people. They don’t want your help, they want your finest years and your soul. #tipsformedstudents

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Medicine is a very bipolar job, swinging between “I can’t believe I get paid for this” and “I don’t get paid enough for this shit”.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    A nurse shouted at me for leaving oxygen running, "it doesn't grow on trees" she said. She then got an ironic lesson about photosynthesis.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    “He did earlier” is not an appropriate response to the question “Does the patient have a pulse?” #TipsForNewDocs

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    How many critical care physicians does it take to change a light bulb?
    None. Changing the light bulb does not affect it’s overall mortality.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Don’t blame it on the landmarks,
    Don’t blame it on the scope light,
    Don’t blame it on the position,
    Blame it on the bougie.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    The emergency phone in the ED is often called the Bat Phone. So why don’t we call ambulances Batmobiles? And why can’t I have a cape?

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    What doctors don't like the public to know is that none of us actually understand how the kidney works. My theory is tiny magical badgers.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Every medical student needs to get over the scrub mask selfie photo phase before they can be taught anything useful. It’s a process.

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  • bungeechump
      Chump @bungeechump

    Things to ask med students to fetch this week:
    Sterile air for inflating ETT balloons.
    Dead ended IV tubing.
    Antidote for naloxone.

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@bungeechump

@bungeechump

Semi-professional air guitarist. #FOAMed