I’d like to point out to the med student from today that “He did earlier” is not an acceptable response to “Does the patient have a pulse?”.

A nurse shouted at me for leaving oxygen running, "it doesn't grow on trees" she said. She then got an ironic lesson about photosynthesis.

"If a surgeon cuts a vessel and knows the name of that vessel, it's serious; if the anaesthetist knows the name of it, it's disastrous."

Best paramedic note ever: "Patient confused however competently demonstrates a vast repertoire of obscenities."

I had a rather concerning conversation today:

Med student: I’ve never seen a dead person before.
Me: This lady isn’t dead.
Med student: Oh.

I'm going to change the patient triage categories to the following, in order of urgency: LOLWTF, OK, OMG and OMFG.

MODERN MEDICINE. http://t.co/gXr7dlmE

Asking a med student to push a certain button on a ventilator and then immediately shouting “NOT THAT ONE HOLY SHIT!” never gets old.

Medicine is a very bipolar job, swinging between “I can’t believe I get paid for this” and “I don’t get paid enough for this shit”.

A nurse shouted at me for leaving oxygen running, "it doesn't grow on trees" she said. She then got an ironic lesson about photosynthesis.

What doctors don't like the public to know is that none of us actually understand how the kidney works. My theory is tiny magical badgers.

Things to ask med students to fetch this week:
Sterile air for inflating ETT balloons.
Dead ended IV tubing.
Antidote for naloxone.

The way to a man’s heart is through a left lateral thoracotomy.

Were you tricked into a career of medicine, promised a rich and glamorous lifestyle? You may have a claim. Contact your lawyer for details.

Give the medical student the naloxone and ask them to "just flush that line with this saline" and then BLAM crazy junkie vs med student.

People think the Emergency Department is a magical place full of wizards who can fix a headache that 20 years and 3 neurologists haven’t.

I've installed pictures of Andrew Lansley in the bottom of all the hospital sharps bins, so I can feel good about throwing needles at him.

A drug that doesn't work is often described as homeopathic. Apparently I'm not allowed to call certain staff members homeopathic though.

So you Googled your symptoms. Self-diagnosed a non-serious self-limiting illness and then called an ambulance. Well done.

This poster should appear in every doctors office in the world. http://twitpic.com/4ptzay