@boring_as_heck "Don't ever cross Alex Cross" is literally the tagline. Someone said that jokingly in a meeting and T Perry LOVED it.

Whether you're for or against #gaymarriage, I think we can all agree: People now saying today is "an historic" day are the worst.

@robfee That or Tom Petty's "Learning to Fly."

Coincidental Tweets are the best. cc: @lvoren @ladydawgdawg pic.twitter.com/wkRMQvZt

It's like 10k spoons, when all u need is a knife. Like meeting the Dave Coulier of ur dreams, then meeting his Dave Coulier wife.

@robfee Christ, Rob, poor taste in a post-9/11 world

@robashemusic Zero people on the Internet know what in the hell you are saying. @lvoren

OH on the scanner: "Hello, hello, hello, hello.... HELLO???"

Happy Mother's Day to my brother @lvoren because my moms isn't on Twitter.

Very cool interactive baseball graphic from LA Times, comparing player salaries at each position across the league.  http://graphics.latimes.com/mlb-salaries/#rays:twins …

It ain't easy being a trombonist. pic.twitter.com/o2tkBaVyEF

It was my birthday today and I got like 0 Twitter notifications so I think I'm doing Internet wrong.

The Dr. Alan Grant: An amber beer encased in amber.

I refuse to let you Tweet the score of the most watched television event of the year as "BREAKING."

@robfee Let it be known that this kid has two thumbs and appreciates any and all Goldust references.

@robfee I'd say it's worth AT LEAST a kick to the nuts.

I really love today's Beetle Bailey. It tackles difficult gender issues and provides thoughtful insight. pic.twitter.com/rngOIgZW

@robfee I know. His polo just needs to be covered in crayon shavings.

@robdelaney Your fake RT work is just astounding. Please never stop.

Following my buddy @robashe 's suggestion: Is there at least one animated American flag .gif in the signature? #Crocmailing