Which is the dominant gene; Hackman, or Wilder?

@iamenidcoleslaw Anybody ever told you that you could be a model or an actress or a slaughterhouse worker?

It's weird that we call Skynet 'Siri' now.

Statistically, you're more likely to have Sean Bean die in your arms than to be killed by a shark.

They say that on a clear night, you can still hear Gangnam Style echoing faintly across the moors.

Weird that so many people own tiny little children but none seem to fight them like Pokémon.

Like boys through the yard, so are the milkshakes of our lives.

My girlfriend used to call our coffee plunger a 'French Press', until she got sick of me accusing it of murdering Princess Diana.

I probably don't say 'vis-a-vis' enough.

Draw me like one of your French poodles

I'm so English I could eat a horse.

Did we ever pry the gun from Charlton Heston’s cold, dead hand?

@meganamram SpaRTacus.

I just want a girl who's a facehugger in the kitchen, and a chestburster in the bedroom.

If you were a decent human you'd go back and retweet every single one of my tweets

iPhone 5 takes full advantage of the latest scientific discoveries, using the "Higgs Boson" to give it "mass".

Must be hard work owning a dog, having to plan 7 birthday parties a year.

@tomandalex How long are you guys filling in for @paulverhoeven? Your show is good and all, but not enough references to Gondor.

Still working on a way to monetize/weaponise my Twitter

I'm a lover, not a fighter.

But I do like to employ roundhouse kicks in both disciplines.