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Got lost in the kool aid and made my own flavor
Put a bow on anything its a present
Nutella: rich people peanut butter
it's so annoying when you are tryin to take care of biznas at work and somebody has to walk in and you get wicked stage fright
Finding somewhere to puke in Chicago is fuckin hard. There is people fucking everywhere #ChicagoProblems #ChiTownProblems
Sounds of outside...long beep. Really long beep. Angry beep. Quiet short beep. #traffic #livingroom #chicagoproblems
I hate people who act like little bitches
I follow sexy men and funny women.
Today I realized that sprinkles can liven any situation
My blues name is Toothless Fingers Jones
Someone needs to burn this Old Navy commercial asap
Its 11pm on a Saturday night, half the world is banging
I bet sushi chefs roll a really nice joint
I suffer from chronic snooze button fingers