Got lost in the kool aid and made my own flavor

Put a bow on anything its a present

Nutella: rich people peanut butter

it's so annoying when you are tryin to take care of biznas at work and somebody has to walk in and you get wicked stage fright

Finding somewhere to puke in Chicago is fuckin hard. There is people fucking everywhere #ChicagoProblems #ChiTownProblems

Sounds of outside...long beep. Really long beep. Angry beep. Quiet short beep. #traffic #livingroom #chicagoproblems

I hate people who act like little bitches

I follow sexy men and funny women.

Today I realized that sprinkles can liven any situation

My blues name is Toothless Fingers Jones

Someone needs to burn this Old Navy commercial asap

I suffer from chronic snooze button fingers

Seinfeld > Friends #seinfeld #allday

Flavored red bulls are my jam! #redbulleditions #redbull

I want to make a rap song called 'fatties on the bus won't let me sit down' #cta #ChicagoProblems

Just gave some 16 yr olds the low down after high school. Don't get fat

Pulled pork tacos from @rockslakeview , you complete me

Is it bad if you've consumed your daily caloric intake for the day before 9am? #wakeandbake #munchies

I just chanted crab rangoon in the background as my roomie ordered the chinese

Looks like my Friday night is turning into bejeweled blitz, nachos, and my dad's massage chair