Sad that Jobs will never see the new Apple campus completed.

I mean who of us hasn't woken up at 3am, composed a tweet, saved it as a draft, read it the next day, and thought "what the fuck is this?"

It's ironic that people say to live like every day is your last, but those who actually take it to heart are called crazy.

The only thing holding this desk together is the gum underneath it." - That's Memphis City Schools for you... #spartanprobz

I bet the first thing Ted Williams is going to say when they thaw him out will be: "I told you fuckers."

He did have a way with words.

How stoned was the guy who created Scooby-Doo? Five idiots in a hippie van driving around with a "talking" dog, and going to haunted houses

How much do you guys wanna bet Steve mentions this whole ordeal in the keynote? Mark my tweet.

Sometimes I forget people that I know follow me on twitter.

Economy adds 165,000 jobs in one month, dropping unemployment to 7.5%... I'm just wondering when Obama is gonna do something, y'know?

They should have the E-Trade baby do a "do I look like I was born yesterday?" joke.

God damn those pictures of the oil-covered birds are hard to look at...

@j_youngbishop he'll be okay in his mansion, I think.

@j_youngbishop slap that person in the face.

This time of year in Memphis must be like Christmas time for car-wash owners.

This 1000x “@j_youngbishop: I'm so glad I went to White Station because this college work is relatively easy so far.”

More revelations with @kiss_my_dallass pic.twitter.com/gRGqsqgy

Conversation with @kiss_my_dallass http://t.co/qRDhKBQc

Halley's Comet http://t.co/VLgtHoMu

How you know Steve Jobs is gone: the new iPhone commercial shows the guy downloading a Rihanna song.

Mila Kunis is so hot that it pisses you off.