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Protect your family? Dog.
Wholesome outdoor sporting? Dog.
You're a small and lonely person who's angry at the world? Get a damn dog.
Maybe gun purchasers should undergo a transvaginal ultrasound and be informed by a doctor of the possible consequences of their actions.
Best part of working late is no pesky coworkers complaining about how my technical decisions affect them.
Three 4096x4096 maps? WHY NOT?
But, if there's water on Mars, what does that mean for Mark Wattney?
Boy tried to text a friend from his new phone and got a “naw dog I don’t know no hank”.
Welcome to adulthood, my son.
I want to like this Pope, but if he keeps me from getting my iPhone on Friday, we’re going to have words.
Scott Walker: I'm ending my campaign.
America: HANG ON WE'RE WATCHING A RAT CARRY PIZZA!
America: LOOK AT THAT RAT! HAH!!
Cool clock, Ahmed. Want to bring it to the White House? We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It's what makes America great.
If clocks are illegal then only criminals will be on time
IT consultant by day, dad & wannabe #gamedev by night. Married to the far more awesome @LibbyKay86. Always be nerding.
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