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TurboTax for PC is the worst RPG ever.
'Make sure your device is discoverable'
- Windows, trying to seduce me.
Good job guys, my phone keeps saying your tweets are 'Refreshing...'
They say "Dress for the job you want, not the job you have." But they also say "Chain mail is not appropriate attire for IT support staff."
I'll halve what she's halving. #sexyfractions
There are donuts in accounting and I enter fully aware its a trap but still donuts
1] buy all six seasons of Lost on DVD 2] watch it on Netflix because putting a disc in is too much work
"I'm giving up for Lent." - The Pope
Using the mouse left-handed today to prevent asymmetrical triceps.
Breaking bread with people is so much better when it's cake instead.
If only there was a thick white line that indicated where to stop at intersections.
Using your child to advertise your business is a great way to do two things poorly.
"Let them eat oatmeal creme pies." - populist Marie Antoinette
Saw a little kid in a "Judge me by my size, do you?" t-shirt. He's currently in my backpack as I run through the swamp.
"What if we get half pepperoni and half sausage and a separate one with veggies, maybe a small?" - why Supreme Court rulings are so slow
Dudes in Corvettes, quit acting tough. You drive the same car as Barbie.