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I'm fat, and hungry.
No more sad shit. I'm here to be vulgar, funny, and fucking awesome. Love me, bitches.
I genuinely hate it when the bitches in lesbian porn suck on dildos like they're real cocks. You're here to lick a vag. Get to it, slut.
I just don't trust anything that has diarrhea for 5 days and doesn't die.
All I want is beer, sex, and steak.
Is that too much to ask for?
Gettin' down in the kitchen.
It's not nice to wake your boyfriend up at 4am for sex when he has to get up at 5am for work?
Now you tell me.
I really hate pooping at my boyfriend's house.
I need to just hit rock bottom already so I can turn this shit around.
It's only cause I am not available anymore. Guys are lame like that. When I was single he was nowhere to be found.
I wish I had whatever it is that makes you people use your own picture as your background on twitter.
330am is the perfect time for me to be hungry on my starve day.
Seriously though. I was such a fucking fat shit all weekend. I have to get my act together tomorrow and the rest of the week.
I tweet about Love, Life, and Penis. And the lack of all 3 of those inside of me.