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Oh you'd wreck my pussy if we fucked?
Bro, I'd wreck your entire life if we fucked.
Honestly? Most of my problems could be solved with an orgasm and a nap.
My ex is just not attractive to me anymore
I use to be sure he was the hottest guy ever
Now I'm just like, "Eh. He makes cute kids tho."
why is it that like 99.9% of girls look thin and cute in over sized shirts but i look like a beanbag
My home security system is tiny clear Legos sprinkled all over the carpet.
I've never had a man apologize for getting me wet before.
But that is exactly what that officer did when he pulled me over in the rain.
Mrs. Doubtfire Vs. Kim Kardashian: Who Wore It Better??? Vote HERE: http://perez.ly/11QE61a
Don't get me wrong. I'm a fan of love, but sometimes a woman just needs to be slammed, ridden, hair pulled and fucked hard against the wall.
Hey asshole,
See the sun is shining,
But you are not smiling,
And I don't know why.
The sweetest cynical bitch you'll ever know. I run with scissors. ✂
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