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Give a man a gun he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank he can rob the world.
We should remove the warning labels from everything and let the stupidity problem take care of itself.
What do we want?
When do we want it?
Damaged people are dangerous because we know we can survive.
The next time there's an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
I'd go as Caylee Anthony for Halloween but my mother would kill me.
If it weren't for the gutter, my mind would be homeless.
Nipples are great because without them breasts would be pointless.
Most people just need a hug.
Around the neck.
With some rope.
Crazy in the head means wild in the bed.
A crappy childhood gives nobody license to be a crappy adult.
I'd call most people a cunt but they don't have the depth or the warmth.
For every minute you are angry you lose 60 seconds of happiness.
I don't have an attitude problem. Stupid motherfuckers have a perception problem.
I used the word whippersnappers today in the correct context. I think I crossed the line and I am old now.
I like twitter because everyone tries so hard - unlike real life where noone gives a fuck.
Don't grow up.
It's a fucking trap.
In 40 or 50 years when we're tweeting from imaginary phones in the nursing homes. That.
be careful! oral sex may make your day
but anal can make your hole weak.
If Kurt had shot Courtney he'd be getting out now, just in time to shoot Kourtney and Kim Kardashian.
I've seen your cells & they're not pretty. Lie down so your entrails come out easier.I fried a little. Human grumpy cat.