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Was just reminded there are two types of people: those who can pronounce "Chipotle" and those who can't.
There may be nothing better than hearing a BBC broadcaster say, "underpants bomb."
My new electric toothbrush doesn't have a timer to tell me when to move to the next quadrant of my mouth, so yeah, I think I know hardship.
Actually Twitter, I feel like the following the NY Stock Exchange is probably not similar to following Downton Abbey.
Whole Foods is like a demilitarized zone where a guy in a suit and a tie can stand right next to a dude in a caftan, crocs and a cowboy hat.
I accidentally looked into the super-magnifying mirror in the hotel bathroom and now my life is over.
Just visited an eco-friendly baby store. As you can imagine, we got a lot of unsolicited advice.
Good way to tell if the audience is listening? Accidentally say orgasm instead of organism.
No, you can't chop my logo in half and put it in a square to make it fit. If I have to explain this to you, you shouldn't be in brand work.
The only thing I hate more than insomnia is trying to understand my notes about the great idea I had at 3:00am.
Watching a worker outside my window, waiting to see when he realizes his harness is attached to the drain he's removing from the building.
Nothing like seeing the puppy freak out because I'm in front of her in the mirror and behind her in real life. Is this what god feels like?
Finally replaced my bald tires. Taking suggestions for a new element of danger I can add to my life.
Maybe it's the three hours of sleep, but nothing in the history of the world has ever been as funny as this pigeon inside terminal 7 at JFK.
Attempting to destroy my boyfriend's best childhood memories by making matzoh ball soup the only way I know how: very badly.
I feel like the first rule of a holding a social media panel is having it in a room that gets decent cell or wifi service.
The fact that Banana Republic has an Anna Karenina collection makes me want to throw their design VP in front of a train.
Henna tattoo down my arm three days before for Yom Kippur services = not my best decision. #cluelessshiksa
I used to feel bad about applying lipstick while driving, but that dude was definitely watching Ghostbusters on his ipad at 80mph.
Self-important. Self-absorbed. Self-righteous. Annoyed with self for those reasons and more.