You can pay for school but you can't buy class. Jk, you can't pay for school either, have fun paying off loans forever, scumbag

America's next top model train enthusiast

i've gained a lot of insight this winter. that's what we're calling body fat now, right?

At this point I could probably develop an actual algorithm describing the relationship between my daily intake of Mexican food and cannabis

When you split history into pre-crocs and post-crocs, society's downward spiral is much easier to digest

All I really want in life is to be Internet famous for a photoblog of cooking with various poisons

@cranberrysause wat do u think ;) http://t.co/ddyOGgch

@cranberrysause r u singel?

I feel like my life would've been significantly better if I'd watched more Lizzie McGuire

Children are like tiny little people and it scares me  https://vine.co/v/b0qphvPL7H5 

People in California don't eat pierogies or ice cream nearly enough. This needs to change. (My state of the union for when I'm president)

Youda Gouda vest

Basically my purpose in life is to remind you that the song "magic" exists

The meaning of life can be summed up in the word "wo'nt" (sic)

Just want 2 b cute *runs in2 pole* boyz *crushes natty ice on/neer sinus* boyz pls *amputates limb of total stranger* ne1? still singel lol?

I'm not saying your college sucks, I'm just saying...wait, I am http://t.co/YYfHBpT4

Reminder: it's highly unlikely that you are even second best at anything! Happy Friday!

i'm browsing etsy, which i'm pretty sure means it's my legal obligation to punch myself in the mouth

Things you'd rather not see on a double date http://t.co/m5PM8C4L

It's been super real, guys  http://instagram.com/p/Zmb3HWy3F0/