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More often than not, the right thing to say is nothing at all. More people should try that.
I knew it was a dream because the cord to plug in my iPhone was a length that actually made sense.
Beer before liquor, never been sicker. Liquor before beer, I'm sorry I said your child is ugly. :(
Comment "Looks fun. Guess my invite got lost in the mail!" on every photo your friends post for the next 24 hours.
I can look directly at someone, nod when they're talking, maybe even throw in a "yeah," and still not hear a single word they said.
If you put your ear up close to the butterfly tattoo you can hear the daddy issues.
My dog would never ignore my texts.
*reads latest news*
*hides under the covers*
Nothing makes me cry like cutting onions and finding out my ex-boyfriend is moving in with some whore named “Amy."
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane