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The irony of the leaked nude celebrity photos is, the trolls who did it are the exact type who'd never even show their real face online.
Running around popping balloons behind every pregnant woman I see, trying to force Labor Day to live up to its name.
The freedom we have as adults to eat and drink whatever we want whenever we want is both magnificent and disastrous.
Hey, TV shows with doorbells or cell phone rings that sound exactly like mine. Stop it. I don't need that kind of stress in my life.
Yay! Starbucks just brought our GMO-milk, high fructose corn syrup, no-pumpkin-actually-included drink back early!
The couple breaking up at the table next to me did not appreciate me mentioning her point was valid. Definitely not going to ask for a fry.
Instagram is down. At lunchtime! Nobody will eat their food, people everywhere are canceling plans because why bother?
"I'd love to!" - me, lying
When I think about quitting coffee the fear is not that *I* will die...it's that *others* will die, and I will go to jail.
If you want to make someone completely freak out, just text them "I need to talk to you about something..."
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane