Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
If Beyoncé doesn't go as a ghost for Halloween and call herself "Booyoncé" she's wasting everybody's time.
I'm never as insulted by the lie as I am by the idea I would be too stupid to catch it.
This baseball game is so intense I can’t figure out who to pretend I was supporting all season.
Please post more pictures of your kid in her Halloween costume. I'd completely forgotten what Elsa looks like.
Are you paying attention to the ridiculously talented @michaelawat's "Benched" on USA? If not, get on that! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/28/benched-usa_n_6062512.html …
My Halloween costume is me pretending to have fun at your party.
A girl's mood is 100% dependent on how her jeans fit and if she's having a good hair day.
My ex-boyfriend will go to ridiculous lengths to make me jealous. Like he's getting married now? So silly!
The way to get Adobe Update to stop bugging you is just close your computer and never open it again.
Go big or go home?
They certainly do the work of heroes, but perhaps some of these Doctors need a few Borders after all.
Don't ever be afraid to just be yourself. Unless you're an asshole. Then maybe try to be a little less "you."
When I catch someone taking a selfie, I force eye contact until I can feel their shame.
Just once, when a murderer's neighbor gets interviewed on the news, I'd like to hear him say, "That guy always seemed a little murdery."
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane