Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Go big or go home?
They certainly do the work of heroes, but perhaps some of these Doctors need a few Borders after all.
Don't ever be afraid to just be yourself. Unless you're an asshole. Then maybe try to be a little less "you."
When I catch someone taking a selfie, I force eye contact until I can feel their shame.
Just once, when a murderer's neighbor gets interviewed on the news, I'd like to hear him say, "That guy always seemed a little murdery."
Um, I thought we were done with the Apple fiasco but this morning my alarm clock was missing and Bono was standing by my bed singing?
You can point out other people's typos or you can have friends. But not both.
"White people. Pumpkin Spice Lattes. LOL. So white." - white people
Sure, you'll get a "bless you" for your 1st sneeze. Yes, I will reluctantly bless you if you sneeze again. But after that, you can fuck off.
"It is no more acceptable to abuse a pig than it would be to abuse a dog." Thank you @billmaher for your OP-ED today: http://mobile.nytimes.com/2014/10/18/opinion/free-pigs-from-the-abusive-crates.html?referrer= …
"Waiter, how do you pronounce this?"
"And what about this?"
"Sir, I have other tables."
"Wrong. It's gnocchi."
Remember when you posted that selfie, then got self-conscious and deleted it, thinking probably nobody saw? Oh, we saw.
That moment of panic when you get a notification that you've been tagged in a photo but you don't know what it is yet.
If you're wondering what kind of assholes live in my neighborhood, the sweetheart a few doors up has roosters. No farm. Just roosters.
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane