Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
A woman on 57th and Lex just told her husband to go home and fuck his own skull, in case you were wondering what New York is like.
On a plane. The flight attendant is singing, "Me So Horny." It's a little awkward but I do hope she gets stuffed for Thanksgiving.
I know your family is probably annoying. But lots of people would give anything to spend holidays with their family. Try not to be a dick.
If karma is real, the guy who left a note on my car today is going to be so fucked, I almost feel bad for his family.
Is this the new "What to Expect When You're Expecting?" https://twitter.com/thr/status/667419391525593088 …
Taking my foster dog to the vet right now. Any bets on how many minutes before she attempts to maul the nice Dr.'s face like last time?
This world is terrifying. I'm heartbroken for all affected by today's events, especially for the children growing up with this as "normal."
The secret to that happy couple's "perfect" marriage is that they're total liars.
I'll give you a ribbon for participation and a juice box.- Jindal to Christie
Good game JV team! Your moms are here to get you. - Primetime
If you're this ridiculously upset about Starbucks' new holiday cup design, you might want to look at your priorities.
My foster dog peed on the carpet for the 2nd time this week. Playing the Sarah McLachlan commercial on repeat to remind her how it could be.
Raise your hand if you're upset that twitter just changed "favorites" to "likes." Now punch yourself in the face with that hand.
I feel like a lot of you really haven't stepped up on the wishing me a happy birthday thing. What gives?
For my birthday today I gave you all an extra hour of sleep. Don't say I never did anything for you. You're welcome.
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane
Like @capricecrane’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.Gift them Pro!
Stats can't be shown as @capricecrane hasn't signed in to Favstar recently.