Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Are you sure you want to unsubscribe?"
"Well, now I want to unsubscribe and punch you in the face."
It's a beautiful day to whisper, "That's not your real daddy," to random kids at the park! Happy Earth Day!
Want to make a skinny girl freak out? Congratulate her on her pregnancy and ask if you can feel the bump. Then just watch the magic.
Upset that they didn't get their own days, Wind and Fire abruptly quit the band.
Netflix has announced a price increase. I hope the people whose accounts I 'borrow' aren't impacted too severely.
"Five years from now I'll have my shit together." - me, five years ago.
And five years before that.
You know that thing where you stop eating when you're full? Someday I'll try that.
"This house is perfect! Why did the previous owners leave?"
"There was a large spider they couldn't catch."
What's the opposite of wanting to hear about you doing crossfit? I'm that.
My other car is a wave of panic and crippling depression.
If you're in an argument & someone says, "I just think it's funny how you..." I guarantee you that person doesn't think it's funny. At all.
Calm down, Adobe Update. You're acting like a needy little bitch.
Nothing bonds women faster than finding out they hate the same people.
A "refresh" button...for this plate of nachos.
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane