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It's cool that my beautiful friend @iliza is all kinds of funny, but it's cooler that she stands up for what's right: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/iliza-shlesinger/looking-like-that-she-was-asking-for-it-right_b_6980690.html …
The fact remains: The saddest April Fools' joke is thinking there's only one day a year we devote to lying to each other.
Ted Cruz should make out with every man in Indiana today for April Fools.
If scientists could find a way to convert the internet's faux outrage into a power source, we could solve the energy crisis.
@estherthepig Did you see sweet Bentley nuzzling his human mama as she sings to calm him at the hospital? https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10153231104924411&set=vb.632564410&type=2&theater …
Even the cutest, funniest 'viral videos' start to lose their appeal after the one minute mark. This is what's become of our attention span.
It's pretty adorable how we all thought someday we'd finally know what we're doing.
A moment of silence for all the dads who thought it was funny today when they told their daughters "Zayn is going in a different direction."
Please don't tell me if you purchase a "selfie stick," because I'll be so embarrassed for you I won't even be able to look you in the eye.
A picture is worth a thousand words. Unless it’s a picture of 10 words quoting someone else. Then it’s just bullshit on my Instagram feed.
If you want someone to keep your secret, just tell it when they're looking at their phone. They'll have no idea what you actually said.
My pal @laurabenanti punched a Rockette and then kicked a baby at Radio City? And someone filmed it? Yikes: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/03/19/laura-benanti-new-york-spring-spectacular_n_6899330.html?utm_source=twitter&utm_medium=social&date=031915&u=192 …
It's so much easier to be supportive and happy for others' success than to be a miserable a-hole. It also feels better. More should try it.
That Coachella sticker on the back of your Range Rover tells me everything I need to know about you.
It would be pretty cool if when we asked "Who's handsome?" or "Who did this?" our dogs finally answered, "Obviously, me!"
A food pyramid that's a cup of coffee on top of two cups of coffee on top of three cups of coffee and so on and so on...
Kanye tweeted nude photos of Kim to celebrate her having 30m followers, trying to appeal to the 9 people who haven’t already seen her naked.
Novelist/Screenwriter/TV Writer/ Facebook: http://facebook.com/writercapricecrane Instagram: http://instagram.com/capricecrane
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