Its amazing to see people talk about the hurricane like it was an underwhelming, overhyped album. Like, disappointed you DIDN'T drown?

Tyler Perry having a channel is fine by me. Put all that shit in one convenient, ignorable location.

Ne-Yo's fucking hat. Does he pay someone to cock it ever so slightly for him? Same dude who starches his collars and sucks his dick, right?

"God spoiled a perfectly good asshole when he put teeth in your mouth."

Question: who is in charge of making sure the random onion ring gets in your Burger King fries? What do they call that position?

I don't know what's better than getting drunk for free. Possibly world peace. Or the interludes on FUTURESEX/LOVESOUNDS. Or pie.

I think with the persistently rumored apocalypse on the horizon, motherfuckers are just itching to die in a spectacular fashion.

You'd think the gay gene would be easier to find. It'd be chillin, minding its business, getting shit from the surrounding, dumber genes.

There were so many fucking Harley Quinns in Baltimore. I get confuzzled at young girls emulating psychologically abused women.

When I started playing #wwf no one told me it was like scrabble with the game length of RISK. This is like occupying a country.

Being an adult means you are rarely rewarded for exhibiting the behavior expected of you. The entire process of childhood set us up, man.

I'm also sick of these 5 gum commercials pretending to be BLADE RUNNER and shit. It's fucking gum. It's not from space.

I'd like to get signed to Maybach Music. You KNOW they have a lot of business meeting at buffets.

Meryl Streep, looking surprised that she won an award. Please. The foundation of her home is melted down fucking oscars.

Directions given to Nicki's stylist: "Let's try to erode her fuckability into a fine powder to be snorted by deluded fashionistas."

"If people spent 1/2 the energy they use on protecting fictional women on helping living breathing women the world would be a better place."

ZIGSWAG IS TEARING ME APART!

It is a little weird that their Amy tribute is having Bruno Mars cover a song Amy covered from The Zutons...

Oh, God, someone make a .gif of Tyler's mom's reaction, please. I will use it for EVERYTHING.

Fuck a McLobster. You alert me when they bring in McCheddarBiscuits.