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I’m never going to have children so that I can spend my money on something more fulfilling and rewarding like a lazy river in my backyard.
Whenever a guy compliments my ass, I say, "thanks, I poop with it."
Is that a cell phone in your pocket or is your penis just vibrating?
"Good morning, everyone!"
"I know you can do better than that; GOOD MORNING EVERYONE!"
THEN DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT, YOU FUCKIN' PUSSY.
SOMEONE NUT THE FUCK UP, BUY A KRYSTAL FRANCHISE, AND PUT IT WHERE THE CHECKER’S USED TO BE.
I just told my dog that “it’s okay to express emotions” and she ran outside and into traffic.
When is Oxford getting that Krystal?
Overdue for a proper mental breakdown.
In high school I got Most Likely To Bottle Up My Feelings And Subtly Hint At What's Bothering Me
I feel like every time I come to Jackson I "accidentally" get "drunk as shit".
I now pronounce you Boo Thang and Boo Thang.
I’m a real human bean.