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Don't everyone rush to the Maserati dealership at once.
Please, please, PLEASE tell me he is going to come out on that balcony and sing "Don't Cry for Me Argentina."
And . . . Tom Brady just listed a truck for sale on Craigslist.
Mariah, Janet and JHud all go on diets at the same time and Hostess files for bankruptcy. Coincidence?
I just saw 2 cops park in a handicapped reserved spot and then walk into Subway. I'm pretty sure that's how the riots started in Cairo.
Michael Phelps could still end this night as an Olympic hero if he would punch Andrea Kramer in the throat right now.
I wonder who the Winklevoss twins are hate-banging right now.
"Who is Phil Robertson and why did he send me a thank you note and flowers?"--Justine Sacco
I love that the Dems are embracing their ex-presidents but the GOP couldn't get far enough away from theirs.
Penn State students are blaming the media. Is Sarah Palin their student body president?
Today the Senate confirmed Stuart Jones as the new Ambassador to Iraq. You might want to inquire about working from home, bro.
*Don't mention cunnilingus. Don't mention cunnilingus." Michael Douglas' inner monologue
Is the cost of lap-band surgery refundable? Asking for Chris Christie.
Drinker of beers. Taker of naps.
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