I'm very good at gym. This morning I finished my 30 minute stint on the bicycle in 4 minutes. #fb

Dear Australians who don't know soccer well. 4 - 0 is basically like someone scoring 438 runs against you in cricket. #wc2010 #fb

My wife makes the best tortillas in the world, and she is not even Italian!

Our freezer defrosted. My wife says it's because I left the door open. She and her conspiracy theories. I know Global Warming is the reason.

They should make Graeme Smith a cricket commentator. Sure, he'll miss the first 5 minutes of SA's batting... #cricket #fb

Of course I'm a superhero. I'm Superfluous Man!

One of the saddest things about life is how mediocrity reigns. #fb

I hope now that they've blown up those cooling towers, #CapeTown will be a lot warmer in the winter. #fb

When I said I like you as a friend only, I meant a Facebook friend.

Miriam's Kitchen. Food so nice, it burns you thrice.

I always brought home excellent report cards. But my parents insisted that I take them back to school and bring my own one home.

Whales jump on boats. Tigers escape. The look my neighbour's dog gives me. I smell an uprising.

I guess the crime we were waiting for to disrupt the #worldcup finally reared its ugly head: somebody stole my mug at work. #wc2010

Don't blame Green too much. He was watching out for the crime, earthquakes and killer snakes. #wc2010 #fb

Why do they name tornadoes after women? A tornado is an irrational, angry force destroying everything in its path? Oh, I see now. #fb

It is strange being in a room with so many geeks and none of them are dressed like Star Trek characters. #netprophet

This is not a question for the speaker. #netprophet

I think the most difficult thing about being a superhero is convincing your mom she is not allowed to brag about you to her friends.

Hey! Don't blame me! When you announced "Soccer Shirt Friday" at work you never said anything about wearing pants.

I'm in the mood for big biscuits, so I think I'll go and donate some blood. http://www.blood.org.za/