*ahem* Twitterverse, thanks for being my "something shiny." #cheersADD

"careywinkle has changed her Relationship Status to 'It's Complicated' with Taco Bell"

Tonight on "Tweeting for the Stars" watch as Carey attempts to write her Most Popular Tweet yet, but will her uncoordinated tries be enough?

Several more stars.... but minus one follower.... I'll take it! I love this twitterfleamarket.

Sometimes I think that I should drink more, but then I remember that I can barely afford gasoline and food. I'll settle for cheap chocolate.

Brainstorming needed! My IRL friends are getting sick of me putting gold stars on their foreheads when they say something funny. Got a fix?

I stay in bed needing to pee and distracting myself, until roomie's done blowdrying & make-uping, rather than risk starting a morning convo.

I GOT MY FIRST FIFTY STAR TWEET! I'M SO FREAKING EXCITED!!! I would like to thank the Academy... (of MY FOLLOWERS who are the coolest ever!)

Seriously, sometimes my life feels like Parade of the Circus Freaks.

You know what a day off is good for? Lounging nakedly. What? Me? Oh, nothing, just enjoying my day off.

Is it a bad sign that my idea of an "Afternoon Delight" largely consists of a fluffy pillow, soft sheets, and a solid 2-4 hours of sleeping?

I'm a recovering English teacher, non-profit employee, and seminary student. Good thing I've got Jesus and booze to help see me through!

If I ever got a dog, I'd want to name it something douchey and pretentious like Aristophanes... but then I'd just call it Dude all the time.

Related: Did you guys know there's no protein in Cheetos?! I was totally shocked. I've been going about this food pyramid all wrong! #health

Customer: "Oh, this isn't personal or anything against YOU, *but* blah blah *rant* *rave* *spewing venom*" It is personal. I have to listen.

I'm totally feeling your Tims, your baggy jeans, your thug appeal.

Today, work is dumb. I'd rather go back to bed. *sigh* If only I could pay my mortgage with Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzs....

So in the last couple of days I've tweeted about chocolate, ice cream, pizza, taco bell, and alcohol. Fellas? This chick's still single! ;)

My mouth tastes like it was a Reeses Peanut Butter Egg. Oh! Look! There's one right here--nom nom nom

Don't you sometimes wish you could star a particular twitterer? I'd totally star you... ;o)