• Howdy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your favs and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you fav, retweet, or follow someone.
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    What doesn't kill you, seriously disappoints me.

    • 324
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesFunkyAfroNoukGetCougarizedmiay3nick_eshwMothpeteDombelinaPissedPenguin84
    • 202
    • RETWEETS
    Mardy__Bum_nick_eshwTartlet_CantblamewiltDombelinadaydreamer_mumMinistryOfMumSSnatter
    SharpesEyeView
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    When you're the only one to star a tweet, it becomes yours, doesn't it? It's pretty much like peeing on it.

    • 418
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesHurly_BurlyDesignerCuntThomas_Lullubu4roiScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesFuzzyPimplerawdogsrevengeMidgetsparSuggestibleDaveSharpesEyeViewimagine_vegas
    hawkros
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    I just yawned and now I'm pretty sure a whale somewhere is trying to answer.

    • 349
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesDesignerCuntThomas_Lullubu4roiScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoon
    • 117
    • RETWEETS
    SharpeBytesDesignerCuntScarsFourEyesdondonallanUmbrusProoPacific_Mamba__Poly__Texkaribdavis13
    NeutrontrilogyClearlyUnwell
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    So it's not protocol to tell the pizza delivery guy to reach for the money in your bra? Sorry for my lack of etiquette...

    • 351
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesDesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonMidgetsparmonstabrat________
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    BBQJones28________joeyhuggles______PellMullMEGraybush________SirFlushaLotBad_motorboater__The_DorksterSquizbot
    GentlyTemperedThaRizzy__________
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    I have a talent for losing in those win/win situations.

    • 266
    • FAVS
    SharpeBytesDesignerCunt1evilidiotBuzzyMcKillen25__TessPerloff______Thomas_LullScarsFourEyesArroia
    • 108
    • RETWEETS
    SharpeBytesTessPerloff______ScarsFourEyesmochanyaFavstar250BriansBalls26crashr57thStateTweetr
    thedayofthedot
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Dentist: "Open wide" Me: "Blowjob wide?" -- He looked shocked. Aren't they supposed to know oral?

    • 253
    • FAVS
    HacknSprayGetongathejuliedagherDesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroia_sarcophagusPeachyisk
    • 67
    • RETWEETS
    SharpeBytesGetongaFavstar250Hizbitch4life1evilidiotsweetdreamer77____Aglaea_SharpesEyeView
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Yes, I DO think "did you bring my pizza?" is an acceptable answer when you're in a public bathroom and someone knocks on the door.

    • 241
    • FAVS
    Hurly_BurlyDesignerCuntSunnyGirl1717ScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonvxlk
    • 66
    • RETWEETS
    FWhattheMariusStefi247funTweetersOps009____________deanbdonoghueCPK3mintchevette______allisulli
    MidgetsparRickyScamp
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    It's not indecent exposure if someone's mouth is covering your genitals.

    • 235
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntHeengHegelyberty300ScarsFourEyesTheGhostofMarat__mihope1thetobbieArroia
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    GMCP_78ArroiaKagedinAKbarthes_simpsoninky37____________onionsareyummyJermHimselfishjoeyhuggles______
    AwhDiddyTweets
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    When a woman suddenly shuts up, a man can hear the theme from Psycho discreetly playing in the background.

    • 195
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntHumor_FetishBarkingAnusluvmyADHDTessPerloff______Thomas_Lullubu4roiScarsFourEyes
    • 46
    • RETWEETS
    luvmyADHDTessPerloff______ScarsFourEyesfunTweetersSherriMarie67GolfnutyyciVanillaGorillaAsianAllieCat
    JTQuest
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    I'm not having sex because I'm saving myself for the coroner.

    • 200
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntThomas_Lullubu4roianomicmanBluetickhealerScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________
    • 40
    • RETWEETS
    anomicmanBluetickhealerScarsFourEyesSharpesEyeViewaaronasellarsjoeyhuggles______Soo_ScandaloussSquizbot
    emirkr
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Nice... Of all things he could try to force down my throat, he chose religion. Glorious waste of time.

    • 183
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntTessPerloff______Thomas_LullCatMeatMusicScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoon
    • 42
    • RETWEETS
    ScarsFourEyeslbiniuscdyynamicmonstabrat________TheeMaryWalkerUnicornObitches__Gn7Gn____________joeyhuggles______
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Killing doesn't make you a psycho, but if you dig up the bodies just to kick them, well... you might have some issues.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonMidgetsparmonstabrat________JermHimselfish
    • 55
    • RETWEETS
    ReynoldsAlyZombieGirIThe_Asema_Lurid__Kaseyfanmariahjoeyhuggles______MissItAintMe______Squizbotsassyazzbiotch
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    We should fuck like we're fighting for the sandwich.

    • 169
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonMidgetsparJasonBerlinRockStar13arbie
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    DesignerCuntanastasia_leongrampscrampsjasonsketcher__IAMSTONE22empoorinky37____________BBQJones28________
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    I feel kinda guilty when I waste perfectly condescending answers on an idiot.

    • 155
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntlyberty300ScarsFourEyese_skalathetobbieMentalAbortionsArroiaVonBrutal________
    • 54
    • RETWEETS
    mihope1bstar64ArroiaDawnMoyersxXFaithFoolXxJaymond76nayele18TheeMaryWalker
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Ok life, I see your responsibilities and I raise you a pillow.

    • 146
    • FAVS
    DesignerCunt1evilidiotDatuPioTessPerloff______Thomas_LullScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________
    • 53
    • RETWEETS
    DesignerCuntTessPerloff______ScarsFourEyesSirFlushaLotMissItAintMe______twomomfarmtommyjay23________NatyBietz
    NatyBietz
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    I'm not on Favstar, so I go and personally hand you my Tweet of the Day cup, with hobo carolers singing while I obscenely fondle you.

    • 171
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonMidgetsparmonstabrat________HellasPlanitia
    • 20
    • RETWEETS
    JermHimselfishSquizbotpragmatisticOHFORREALS________RaggleFragglezzzhakespearefavstar1000favsvinniesucks
    _odlanyeRPeppersprayJscrirc____________
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Sext: Thrust your low standards deep into my desperation.

    • 143
    • FAVS
    DesignerCunt1evilidiotScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonMidgetsparmonstabrat________
    • 35
    • RETWEETS
    BradListiMissItAintMe______SquizbotBrodysmama417QshykoMasterPeekscatten_dreamzTheMerja
    thetobbie
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    He just called his dick his "privates", so I'd say it has been at least two decades since the last time he fucked anyone.

    • 151
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonmonstabrat________JermHimselfishimagine_vegas
    • 13
    • RETWEETS
    joeyhuggles______SquizbotpragmatisticcoffeeWmarilynOHFORREALS________PAT_E_ROCKNotemeimporta_____PlayingMantis
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Could you move your avi a little bit to the right so I can try another imaginary sex position?

    • 135
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonmonstabrat________JermHimselfishimagine_vegas
    • 27
    • RETWEETS
    joeyhuggles______SquizbotpragmatisticPeppersprayJMeDunnGoodClassy_Cassy89____OHFORREALS________WistfulBlue______
  • carlawh
      Carla Whaat @carlawh

    Why don't they just make vibrating remotes? It would definitely save me the trouble of removing the batteries from it every time.

    • 132
    • FAVS
    DesignerCuntScarsFourEyesArroiaVonBrutal________goobygoonmonstabrat________JermHimselfishdjr_102
    • 28
    • RETWEETS
    joeyhuggles______Squizbotfavstar1000favsTravLeBlancpragmatisticOHFORREALS________LeDASHa007________brokeninja
@carlawh

@carlawh

Just the average failure.