Someone just added me to a list called "List 9". Never felt so special.

It's almost as if some people on the internet don't understand how important my opinions are.

Those Australians are doing a real good job of pretending they're not all dead right now.

In a few days time, I really hope the world ends for all those who believe the world is going to end. Darwinism will take a huge leap.

If only we kept god in schools, we wouldn't have those shootings. Y'know, like all those child molestations that never happened in churches.

"This isn't time to talk politics" - fuck off. This is EXACTLY the time. Today is what a backward, barbaric, selfish hobby causes. Talk!

If they really do replace the $1 bill with a coin, strippers are gonna have to start wearing fanny packs to hold all the loose change.

If Michael Steele was white, he'd be Kenneth from 30 Rock.

Nothing endorses the international view of the archetypal "American" more than the current panic-buying of Twinkies all over the country.

Obama has openly called Romney a liar twice after only two questions. This is fucking quality TV!

Kid: "I'm in college and afraid of not getting a job, what will you do for me"?"

Romney: "I will give you a job. But don't ask me how".

"Tea, Motherfucker! Do you drink it?" - How I imagine lunch in Samuel L. Jackson's house.

I'm not impressed. I once jumped from a really tall tree.