that awkward moment when adele turns up out of the blue uninvited.

just added "fluent in emojis" to my online dating profile so i'll probably be married in no time.

Hey fellas I'm single and ready to get shingles! Wait...single and ready for some Pringles. Hang on, I'll get this right.

texans...it's time to bow out.

hey boy! i thought you were cute. then you put on a fedora :I #neverOK

"I have a powerfully strong sphincter" says @el_guinan as I simultaneously cope with my future.

When I get dunkin donuts, I am no longer a struggling twenty-something with no direction, I am a QUEEN.

Free advice guys, don't wear scarves unless it's cold out. And no flip flops unless you're at the beach. Sincerely, women. You're welcome.

And her grave said "death by YOLO"

@davidtdunn if it's you...a little bit of both.

you better look at your tree good and hard before you put a picture of it up on instagram. #notimpressed #toughcritic #needsmoretwinkle

Sometimes I imagine my life without emojis and I have to calm down, put my hands on my face, look into my eyes and say "never look back."

My idea of the perfect day will always include watching Jurassic Park.

I don't trust a man who doesn't appreciate brad paisley. #scrub #potentialwifebeater

google+ is the guy you turned down that won't give up and texts once a month to see if you've changed your mind. #nope

"to know the way to a woman's heart, a man need only look at her pinterest." -shakespeare

The dark knight rises for the second time. There is a reason her name isn't dogwoman. #catsareawesome

There's just something about Christian Bale and the way he holds his tongue. Am I right ladies? You notice it too.

life just keeps getting better. or maybe i keep getting better at life.

so gay/lesbian rights activist want everyone to be tolerant of their beliefs, but won't return the favor? pot calling the kettle black.